Handling Holiday Stress

Handling holiday stress is not easy. Whether it's facing the in-laws, or your immediate family, this can be a tricky time to navigate.

What is Holiday Stress?

While many typically believe that holiday stress only occurs over the Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukah, and Kwanza season, this really isn't the case. In truth, holiday stress can occur on any holiday or during any time of the year when you are not typically at work (including vacations). However, the first step in managing holiday stress is identifying the exact conflict(s) you tend to encounter.

Examples of Stress During the Holidays

As you read some of these examples, take note of the ones that ring particularly true for your situation:

• In-laws

Dealing with in-laws, or trying to decide which set of parents, if any, you want to spend the holiday with can be extremely stressful. Typically, one spouse prefers to spend the time with a particular family, while the other spouse wants to spend that time elsewhere. If there are children involved, the entire situation can become that much more difficult.

• Sibling rivalry

Most people wish that this phenomenon wasn't a factor in life, but unfortunately, in some cases, it is. Hearing about your sibling's accomplishments can open up old wounds of anger and resentment.

• Struggling with sobriety

This is not a subject that is usually included when talking about handling holiday stress, but it really should be. Whether you have several years of sobriety under your belt, or are just trying to piece together ninety meetings in ninety days, saying no when a family member offers you a beer or a narcotic can be quite a battle.

• Staying on a diet

Ah, family and food! Maintaining a successful diet or trying to eat healthy can be a real nightmare if your family is one that loves through food. It's even worse when that family is truly loving, but bewildered by why you are not sampling every dish.

Start Handling Holiday Stress Successfully

For the specific examples previously mentioned, try some of these stress free tips:

Dealing with In-laws

Try not to say anything negative about a particular person or a family member because it really won't serve any helpful purpose; the odds are good that your spouse knows exactly how you feel.

Try to be fair with time. This can be done by rotating with whom you spend the holidays with (this year your parent's next year it's your spouse's), or you can cut the holiday in half (three days here, three days there). Once you have a plan in place, all parties must stick to it (and should try to do so without griping!).

What To Do with Sibling Rivalry

Handle this situation by shoring up your own self-esteem; remember that you are blessed with unique gifts that no one else has. Armed with this high level of confidence, go ahead and listen to your siblings accomplishments, but don't feel the need to share yours unless asked. You’ll feel so much better taking the higher ground instead of going tit for tat.

Stay Sober

Call your sponsor before you attend the party/barbeque etc, or got to a meeting. After you've spent time with the group, you can always call your sponsor again. If you have a cell phone, be sure to take it with you. Additionally, walk with your meeting book; this way you'll be able to find a meeting if you need it. Don’t forget that a simple, "no thanks" can work wonders.

Keep a Diet/Healthy Life Style Going

Lay the ground work by letting all parties know what your goals are (for example, choosing a healthier lifestyle, want to live longer for my children, etc). Once there, stick to your plan and within your calorie count by saying yes to water and no to soft drinks. Try filling your plate with veggies, but don't deny yourself a little bit of slack; have a small piece of cake or desert. Shore up even more by working out before the visit. Remember, strong mind, strong body.

More Helpful Tips

No matter your situation, these tips should help:

• Keep drinking to a minimum

Alcohol has a tendency to exasperate already tense situations, so abstaining is usually a good way to go. Additionally, if squabbles arise, you’ll be in the best situation because you'll have a clear head.

• Set time limits

Decide beforehand how much time you'll be spending at each family's house and then stick to it. Make up any excuse you want (work projects to complete, the plumber is coming, whatever) and then leave.

• Set Boundaries

Know what topics you're willing to discuss and stay away those you are not. If a group is talking about a taboo topic, simply walk away and visit with someone else.

Putting It All Together

Managing holiday stress needn't be difficult if you go into the situation with a battle plan for whatever may come up and in the right frame of mind. No matter what happens try to remain calm. After all, even though the holidays can be stressful, try to remember that these people (for the most part) truly love you and want to see you happy. That's something we all can celebrate!

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