Free Jokes About Stress Reduction

Vilma Ruddock
Have a good laugh!

There are several ways to reduce stress, including meditation, imagery, and yoga. Reading or listening to hilarious jokes can be great stress reducers, and there is even humor in stress reduction techniques themselves. These stress reduction jokes are certain to enlighten as well as lighten your day.

An Imagery Underwater Revelation

Imagery, or visualization, is a powerful way to manage your stress. Here is a popular imagery stress reduction exercise that is sure to help:

Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool, mountain air.

refreshing pool

No one knows your secret place, and you are in total seclusion from your stressful world.

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is clear as you dip our hands in it.

And...you can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding under the water...

There now.....feeling better?

A Broken Silent Meditation Pact

Everyone knows that part of the spiritual healing power of meditation lies in the silence. However, a group of monks quickly forget meditation is good for the soul only if they remain silent.

Four monks agree to meditate in silence for a week and to not speak a single word.

On the first day, the monks all maintained silence. But as darkness fell, the flame of their singular candle began to flicker.

"Oh, the flame is going out," said one monk.

"Eh, we should not speak a single word," said the second monk.

"Why do you two want to speak?" asked the third monk.

"Ha! I am the only one who did not talk!" said the fourth monk.

A Prayer to Reduce Stress

I pray for help to find ways to reduce my stress.

Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I cannot accept,

A reminder to breathe deep and meditate,

And the wisdom to resist the temptation to choke every person who gets on my nerves today.

A Woman's Stress Reduction Day

woman reading in bed

One day a man came home from work to find his house in total chaos. His three kids were safe outside but still in their pajamas, playing in the mud with empty food containers and paper strewn about, and the front door was wide open.

He hurried inside, deeply worried that his wife was ill or in danger. He found the downstairs television blaring, and the family room was a mayhem of toys and clothes thrown about the floor. The kitchen was a disaster with the sink filled with dishes, breakfast food all over the counters, and dog food and a broken glass under the table.

Quickly taking this in, he ran up the toy-cluttered stairs looking for his wife. To his amazement, there she was, completely relaxed in bed reading a book.

She smiled up at him as he asked her, "What happened here today?"

She peacefully smiled at him again and replied, "You know how every day when you come home you ask me what on earth did I do all day?"

"Yes," came his bewildered response.

She blissfully replied, "Well, today I didn't do it."

A Husband's Stress Reduction Prescription

A woman went with her husband to see his doctor. After his check-up the doctor spoke with the wife alone in his office.

He told her, " Your husband is suffering from a serious, severe stress disorder." The doctor continued, '"Unless you start the following immediately to reduce his stress, he won't have long to live.

"First, each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal. Dinner must be an especially nice meal.

"Second, be pleasant at all times, don't burden him with chores, and don't tell him your problems, as this will stress him further

"Most importantly, make love to him several times a week.

"If you can do these things for the next ten months your husband will recover from his stress disorder and regain his health completely and live."

On the way home the husband asked his wife to tell him what the doctor said.

The wife replied, "He said you don't have long to live."

Combining the Power of Yoga and Visualization

Combining exercise and visualization improves the stress-reducing power of each technique.

So, take a yoga class to get the perfect combination of these two stress relievers to help you reduce your stress.

While in class you can close your eyes and imagine yourself in a relaxing place. Like on your couch not doing yoga.

Just Give Me a Call to Manage Your Stress

consoling friend

When you are overwhelmed, and your worries seem to cloud your vision, reach out for anyone or anything that can help you cope.

When you feel stressed out and life seems to be going wrong,

When the stress engulfs you and everyone seems to be leaving you,

When tears flow from your eyes and the world seems to be fading away into the mist

Just give me a call: I sell tissue papers!

Don't Pet Your Cat to Reduce Your Stress

Think twice and be careful before you use your cat to help you reduce your stress.

A guy visits his doctor's office. He has gouges, scratches, and bruises all over his body.

"What happened to you?" the doctor asked him.

The man replied, "Everyone says petting a cat is a great way to reduce stress. The problem is, no one told my cat!"

A Praise For Thoughtlessness in Meditation

At the core of meditation is emptying your mind of all thoughts so you can de-stress.

So, a Buddhist Zen student goes through a successful meditation session with his Zen Master. The Master is awed by his student's behavior.

Master: "I have never met anyone so thoughtless in my life!"

Student: "Thank you Master."

Master: "Keep up the good work."

And...Another Brief Thought on Meditation

What did the meditation instructor say to his students?

Drumroll please..."You have the right to remain silent."

Never Again the Same

Your favorite stress reduction activities will never be the same again after this fresh look at managing stress. These jokes about stress reduction stretch the imagination and are sure to bring laughter and help improve your mood.

Free Jokes About Stress Reduction