Facts on Anger Management

Having the facts on anger management is important for controlling excessive anger. While anger is natural, there are reasonable and unreasonable ways of dealing with it. Anger management can help you recognize excessive anger and gain control over your angry emotions before they cause damage to your life or relationships.

Martial arts can help with anger management.

Most people lose control of their anger at some point and say or do things they later regret. However, these are normally isolated experiences; frequent occurrences are indicative of an anger management problem.

If you anger easily or react to anger in disruptive or violent ways, you are likely already aware of it. Anger problems are sometimes subtle, however. Common signs that you may need help controlling your anger include:

• Your anger adversely affects your relationships
• You feel angry often enough that it has ongoing effects on your mood
• Your anger results in the escalation of conflicts rather than in resolution
• You frequently feel on the verge of losing control
• You feel like it is difficult to restrain your anger
• You find yourself involved in arguments with friends and family members
• You respond to anger by making threats
• Anger provokes you to violence and/or destructive or reckless behavior
• The people in your life often suggest you have unreasonable reactions to anger

Anger management is a form of therapy that teaches new, healthier behaviors while working to eliminate more destructive behaviors. While there is a wide array of techniques used in anger management, all of which work to different extents for different people, the goals of each are the same.

The purpose of anger management is not to prevent feelings of anger. Like any other emotion, anger is natural, and even important in certain situations. Rather, anger management helps people recognize when they are becoming angry, evaluate whether their response is warranted, and control how they express their anger. In this way, a person can use their anger as a tool for protecting their interests and resolving problems, rather than simply making a situation worse.

There is no way to avoid anger. People and circumstances that enrage us are bound to appear from time to time. While we may occasionally know we are heading into an encounter with someone or something that will make us angry, this is certainly not the norm. Proper anger management allows for coping with anger whenever and wherever it arises, foreseen or spontaneously.

Having the facts on anger management is a start to controlling your anger, but you need to find and practice the techniques that work best for you as an individual. Sometimes, one technique may suffice, but a combination of techniques is usually required.

Relaxation techniques are the most commonly used and effective anger management tools. To be fully effective, it is important to practice relaxation techniques daily. With time, implementation of the techniques will become automatic. Meditation and yoga are activities that can promote an overall sense of calm and make daily anger management easier. Deep breathing exercises, counting silently, and picturing soothing images help control anger and provide immediate calm.

This technique may sound obvious, but people with anger management problems generally fail to distance themselves from whatever is provoking them. When someone or something is triggering anger, put some space between yourself and the irritant. Physically stepping back can help you get a better perspective on the situation. Distancing with time can be even more effective. Rather than address anger in the heat of the moment, leave the situation for a while and return to it when you have regained control of your emotions.

Strenuous exercise can work wonders for relieving stress of any kind. When you feel anger rising, try some brisk aerobic exercise or weight lifting. Not only can it give your emotions a healthy outlet and relieve building tension, it will also distract you from the source of your anger and provide distancing.

Rather than focus on your anger, focus on why you are angry and what would resolve the situation acceptably. While expressing displeasure is often the first step toward a resolution, people with anger management problems tend to become stuck at this step. Move past it quickly to find solutions to the problem. Communicate the possible solutions clearly and calmly. Anger easily clouds judgment, so do not dwell on a pessimistic outlook, and do not jump to conclusions.

Sometimes counseling is a necessary part of anger management. Group counseling or individualized therapy with a psychologist can help you learn to recognize and deal with anger. In addition, counseling can help you find better ways of resolving problems by communicating more directly and constructively and by being assertive rather than aggressive.

• More useful facts on anger management are available on the website of the American Psychological Association.

• The Mayo Clinic offers an overview of relaxation techniques and links to further information on the topic.

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